Andy Stanley on Trust vs. Suspicion

Today I discovered Andy Stanley’s leadership podcast and was very challenged by his talk on “Trust vs. Suspicion”.  (Listen here)  It was satisfying to hear someone eloquently explain how so many organizations go wrong in this area and how they can do better.  As you read this or listen to his podcast, keep in mind that he is talking about trusting others in spite of innocent mistakes they make, not in spite of malicious behavior.

Here is some of what he said…

Three commitments we need to make:

1. I commit to do what I say I’ll do, and when I don’t, I’ll tell you. (In other words, you won’t hear it from anybody else before you hear it from me.)
2. I commit not to over-promise and under-deliver, but it if looks like that’s where things are headed, I’ll tell you.
3. If you confront me about the [trust] gaps I’ve created, I’ll tell you the truth.

Some other great quotes:

• “Being trustworthy is not the equivalent of being flawless.”
• “A trustworthy person addresses the gaps they have created.”
• “Where’s there no trust, it’s hard to leverage the gifts, talents, and abilities of the other people on the team.”
• “Trust creates in own momentum in an organization.” (In other words, build an atmosphere of trust by being trusting.)
• “When we don’t trust, people tend to live up to that low expectation.”
• “Our response to people who mess up…is determined not so much by the nature of what they’ve done but by the personal maturity and security of the leader.”

This was a great podcast from Andy; I can’t wait to hear more!

Don't Take Life For Granted

My wife recently received the following thought-provoking email from a friend.

With all the news lately about the weather and snow that the Midwest and East Coast areas are experiencing, we shouldn’t forget that Phoenix also has had its share of devastating weather in the last few weeks.

Below is a photo showing damage to a home from a recent storm that passed through the Phoenix area.  It really makes you cherish what you have, and reminds us not to take life for granted.

Fail Often

A failure should be a lesson-learned that leads you to something better.  An environment that doesn’t allow you to fail can become the catalyst that leads you to a better place.  The following article from Todd Hampson at Timbuktoons perfectly addresses this.

The week before we went to the KidScreen Summit in NYC, I saw a blog post by brand and marketing guru Seth Godin about Tim Burton’s many “failed” attempts before AND in between his green lit projects.

While in NYC, we stayed one block away from MoMA (the Museum of Modern Art) where a temporary Tim Burton Exhibit was on display featuring art from his high-school days thru the present. It was amazing to see how many different mediums Tim Burton worked in. There were illustrations, mobiles, sculptures, live action films, animated films, experimental art (including some very strange pieces), and more.

One notable part of the exhibit was a huge wall that had all of his movie concepts listed. Next to each was it’s year of release OR a phrase like “never produced.” MOST of his projects had that term next to them. “Never Produced.”

We should not feel like we have failed when we have that stamp on one of our projects or ideas. “Never Produced” now means to me “Never Giving Up” and “Learning and Preparing for the Next Step.”

I recently noticed this verse: “until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested Joseph’s character” (Psalm 105:19).

Joseph’s dreams were God-given, not self-driven. He faced delay after delay, trial after trial, but continued to trust God and the dream God had given him so many years earlier. God was forging Joe’s character in preparation for the fulfillment of the dream.

I could point to many “failures” at Timbuktoons that prepared us for something bigger. Our goal should be “to attempt great things” (for God’s glory), not “to have 100% success.” A real adventure is not complete with out some scratches and bruises along the way. No story is compelling without the scene where hope is almost lost.

So today, in these tough times when many dreams seem to have died, trust that God is working in you while He prepares circumstances around you. God does not lie. He is a covenant keeping God. Never give up, even if you “fail often!”

Is Your Church This Focused?

From a recent blog post by Seth Godin:

Tim Cook at Apple: “This is the most focused company I know of, am aware of, or have any knowledge of… We say no to good ideas every day.” Cook then pointed out to analysts that every single product the company makes would fit on the single conference table in front of him. “And we had revenue last year of $40 billion.”

What an amazing principle for churches!  We get so caught up in providing every single program that members expect us to provide, that we wind up being great at very little, or even nothing.  Apple has chosen to focus on just a few simple products that they have become the best at, and their bottom line proves the effectiveness of their focus.  Churches should learn the lesson and cut some of the fat that keeps them from doing their best at their primary mission.

What programs and activities can your church cut that would enable you to be more focused on what matters most?

Visit Russia and Meet an Orphan

This March, visit Russia and spend time with a Russian orphan! Travelers will choose a child, fly to Russia as a group, meet and spend time with the child in Moscow, sightsee together, and decide whether to pursue the child’s adoption. Travelers not interested in adoption are

welcome to join us. Single boys and girls, ages 7-14, and sibling groups, ages 6-15, are available. The Lighthouse Project will arrange transportation in Russia, lodging, activities, and most meals. Sightseeing plans include Red Square, St. Basil’s Cathedral, and other culturally appropriate activities. Cost depends on which lodging option is selected, but ranges between $1250-1500 per person, including airfare, assuming double occupancy. This is more cost-efficient than making a “first trip” to visit a child in the standard, two-trip adoption procedure. Basic paperwork includes an application and a statewide background check. Those deciding to adopt will complete the requisite paperwork in the US, returning to Russia to finish their

adoption in one trip six to nine months later. To see photos, videos, and commentary from our November Moscow Lighthouse Project trip, click here. For more information, please contact trip coordinator Becky De Nooy at (616) 245-3216, or visit www.lhproject.com.

Bad News for Perfect Parents

The January issue of Christianity Today has an insightful article on the myth of the perfect parent.  Here are some quotes to whet your appetite and encourage you to read the whole article.

• “If our supposition–that we can measure the success of our parenting by the outcome of our children–is scripturally based, we should be able to apply the test to God himself.”
• “The root of much of our pain in parenting…is the belief that we should have control over our children when it is hard enough to have control over ourselves.”
• “The record does not tell us if anyone repented as a result of his words, but Ezekiel was never accountable for the repentance of others. He was accountable only for his steadfast obedience.”
• “But we must be clear about our own limits. We are not capable of producing perfect followers of Christ, as if we were perfect ourselves.  Our work cannot purchase anyone else’s salvation or sanctification.”

I love the last line.  Read the rest here.

Abundant Life

Here’s a great blog entry from my wife (TexasPeaks.com) for Sanctity of Life month.

“I am come that they might have life, and that they might have life more abundantly“. (John 10:10)

January is Sanctity of Life month. In memory of the Roe vs Wade supreme court decision that happened in January 1973, we’ve tried to reclaim the anniversary as a time to honor all life.

I remember as a teenager I told my friends and told them to spread the word, if they ever faced abortion, to please let me have the child before they did that. I don’t know what I thought I was going to do if anyone ever took me up on that offer, but I knew I meant it.

Six years ago in January, I heard Steven Curtis Chapman’s testimony on the radio about their decision to adopt. They had adopted a baby girl from China. We had buried our stillborn son a year and a half before and we were childless and empty. The testimony was very moving to me, I had wanted to adopt, but couldn’t convince Brent to look into it. The very next day, my friend Lavonne invited me to lunch. She and her husband had also experienced infertility and loss and she wanted to tell me over lunch that they had decided to adopt a baby from China and wanted us to go with them and adopt as well.

Six years ago in January, Sanctity of Life Month, God laid on our hearts the call to adopt. A decision that changed our lives and our calling forever. It is amazing thing to allow God to use you in a big thing. It takes a long time just to be willing sometimes, but when you are willing, you will never be the same.

I confess, it would have been easier remain as we were, there’s a lot of mess with paperwork, money and children with all their baggage. But I truly shudder to think what I would be missing out on if we had not opened our hearts on Sanctity of Life month to BE the difference of life or death to a child. You touch the heart of God when you care for orphans. We have now taken 2 little girls as our own. Given them names, love and a family forever. What a privilege to be a mirror in a small way of what God has done for all of us.

Since our first adoption, we began to get involved in finding homes for children, helping others adopt and even helping care for orphans who are not adopted. This is an abundant life, and we look forward to living more abundantly.

Great Insight for Children's Pastors

Roger Fields has a great list at KidBlitz.com of the ten things he will never do as a children’s pastor.  Here are my favorites.

• Never beg for workers.
• Never pacify a chronically malcontented worker.
• Never do anything just because it’s the way it’s always been done.
• Never teach without involving kids.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to do each of these, and I can promise you that they don’t accomplish what you hope they will.

See the full list here.

Merry Christmas!

We're moving to Phoenix!

This week, I accepted an offer from Paradise Valley Community Church in Phoenix to be their new Children & Families Pastor. I’m SUPER excited about the opportunity to jump back into full-time ministry with such a great group of people! We hope to be there in early January–probably right before a major ice storm hits Tulsa while we’re enjoying the sunshine in Phoenix!